Who is the Most Stressful? The Groom or the Bride?

Written by Judy Johnson
March 2, 2008

Last Saturday evening, I sat in the audience and watched Rosalinda interpret the testimony of Shawn Boonstra's life because it was the last evangelistic meeting. It was a moving story that made many people shout a loud 'Amen'.

Anyway, he put a question to us and asked us, 'Who is the most stressful at the wedding? '

Many people guessed it was the bride because she does all the wedding planning. Shawn graciously declared it was the groom who is the most stressful. I gasped with the great puzzlement, and asked myself, 'Why did he say, "It is the Groom".

Shawn cleared his throat and began boldly telling his own experience.

I will try to tell you what he told us.

When he was a young student, he went to visit a man at a house. While the middle age man was busy talking, Shawn could not help but stare at the picture on the wall behind the man. When the man finished talking, Shawn pointed his finger at the framed picture on the wall behind the man and asked him, 'Who is the girl in the picture?'

The man, the father proudly answered, 'This is my daughter, Jean. You were staring at that picture the whole time while I was talking to you.' He frowned, but suddenly the frown disappeared when he asked Shawn if he wanted to meet his daughter.

Shawn answered with several eagerly big nods. 'Yes! Yes! I would love to meet your daughter.' When Shawn finished speaking, the girl came up the stairs onto the living room.

Shawn became fascinated with the beautiful green eyes of the girl. Then he went back to the dormitory and told his friends 'I really like this girl so much. Her name is Jean!'. He spread the story, hoping to lead her to himself. His friends later grew tired of hearing him talk about her over and over again, until they approached him to tell him to call her or else shut up.'

Shawn finally decided to call her, dialing the old fashioned phone, but he hung up on the fourth time when he heard her voice saying 'Hello?'. He was so afraid, what if she said 'no'?

One day, his friend cornered him and told him to shut up once more and shoved him into the closet to help him make up his own mind to decide to call Jean. The friend handed him a phone in the closet, and said that if he did not call her, then he must shut his mouth for the last time. He lamely picked up the phone, feeling hands trembled, heart beating fast. He heard Jean's voice kindly say 'Hello'. He blunted out, 'Jean, would you like go out with me on a date?'

She replied, 'Yes, sure, I would be glad to.' Shawn's heart slowed down, and relaxed. He was relieved and smiled with happiness, and went out. They went out on a date for that night and continued for four and half years while they got their education. He grew so fond of her, and had fallen in love with her. He decided wanted to ask her to marry him. The only one thing he thought he ought to do is to go to see her father to ask for his blessing.

One day at the family dinner, Shawn nervously approached Jean's father. He said to her father, 'I want to talk to you about something in private, please?'

All of a sudden, her father's face became stern, and it looked like he was upset about something. This only helped Shawn feel worse about approaching Jean's father. Dad lead Shawn outside in the back door, and both sat down on the porch facing each other.

Shawn sat very quiet. For first time he was really very much afraid. He was well known for talking about love a lot but this time he did not talk at all. He was afraid to talk to Jean's father. His heart throbbed wildly and his hands became sweaty. He could not bear seeing Jean's Dad look so stern.

Shawn finally spoke in a quiet voice, with his eyes shut, saying, 'The reason I am here is because I love your daughter. I am asking your blessing if I can marry her?' He continued to keep his eyes shut fearing the next answer, might be a rejection from Jean's father. But nothing happened in the next few silent moments. He opened his eyes, and peeked at her father.

Her father smiled widely, 'I thought you going to say 'I am breaking up with your daughter, but I am glad you didn't because I know you and Jean are good together.'

With that, Jean's father warmly embraced Shawn. Shawn was so relieved to know that and it explained why her father got a 'stern' look when Shawn wanted to talk in private.

Together Shawn and Jean's families rejoiced and then he went home.

He loved to collect books. Whatever books he got, he would read. One day, he came into his room, and saw his book laid open on his bed. He suspected it was his roommate. He asked his roommate if he had touched the book on his bed. His roommate said, 'Why should I touch your Bible, huh? I have nothing to do with your Bible.'

Shawn was puzzled how did his Bible got there on his bed. Apparently the Bible fell from his shelf. He picked up the Bible and read it. It opened to Revelation 13. He read with keen interest because it talked about the beasts coming out of the land and the ocean. He became confused hardly understanding any of it. He went on to read the next chapter, but he was still confused. Shawn was almost going to quit reading but a small voice told him to continue reading it. So he did continue reading until he got to Revelation 17.

He finally began to piece together what he was reading and started to understand better what he was reading. He went back to Daniel and read. He noticed Daniel and Revelation have lots of parallel thoughts and that explained a bit.

He became excited, and called up his girlfriend. He told her, 'Guess what??' I found something, I am so excited about?'She asked, 'What?'He exclaimed, 'It is Revelation and Daniel! I am reading about it in the Bible, about the weird beasts. I want to explain to you in person.' Her calm response, 'Sure, I will see what you have to tell me.'

He hung up and went over to explain the things to her. She became excited, and wanted to continue studying together. They became convinced and wanted to find the right church but did not know which one was the right church. They knew the Bible told them that they should not be unequally yoked together which means a believer should not marry an unbeliever. They both wanted to believe the same thing and wanted to find the church that believed the same things that they had just studied.

One day, when Shawn was driving into town, he saw a sign saying, 'Books for sale!'. He must stop because he loved reading books, anything he could find. So he parked his car on one side of the road and went into the yard sale and looked over the several boxes of books. On the note, it read, 'Five dollars for one box full of books.' He thought it was a good bargain. He rechecked with the owner to make sure. The owner said, 'Yes, five dollars for one box of books'. Shawn was thrilled, and went ahead to look at the books on top of the box. Politics, history were among other topics.

He smiled, and paid the price, and took the box of books home. He settled the box on the table, and went through the books. Under several books, he noticed a book titled, 'History on Sabbath-keeping'. He got so curious, he sat down right there to read it. He was convinced it is true because he checked the scriptures with the Bible. He found it was true after all, and it was also clearly explained, not a vague explanation. It left no doubt in his mind that the seventh-day, the true Sabbath which fell on Saturday is the day to worship the same as in the early times when Jesus was on the earth.

Of course, once again, Shawn shared everything he read with his engaged girlfriend, Jean. It became clear that the church might have some answers. So they went to worship in church on Sunday. They asked their pastor questions about the Seventh-day Sabbath. Their Pastor answered them saying, 'Yes, you are right, the seventh-day is the Sabbath, the day the Lord worshiped instead of on Sunday. But it is not important because all the other Sunday churches worship on Sunday, too.' Shawn was so shocked, he can not believe what he heard. Shawn swiftly replied, 'The Bible says so clearly that the seventh-day is the day to worship, not Sunday.' His pastor did not reply.

Shawn and Jean decided to leave their own church and start looking for another church. They attended another Sunday church. In one of the meetings, a woman stood up and asked her pastor the question, 'Is the story of Adam and Eve true?' Shawn waited for her pastor's response.

Shawn and Jean could not believe their ears, when they heard her pastor say, 'the story of Adam and Eve is not so important, it is just another fairy tale.' Shawn spoke up, 'Pastor, it has to be true because it is the very foundation of the whole Bible!' But the pastor said no more. He just ignored Shawn's comments and he went on to the next question. Immediately, Shawn and Jean were disappointed, and withdraw from that church.

Shawn prayed to God and asked for signs to help them find the right church. They wanted to be led to the church that teaches all what the Bible says, not half, or a little piece but all what Jesus teaches.

The next morning, Shawn received a call from his brother. His brother was so excited and muttered something to him. Shawn asked him to slow down and explain what he is talking about. His brother said , 'You remember you and I sat down together when we were little boys in the early morning and watched the program called ''It is Written" presented by George Vandeman?"

Shawn's face lit up as he recalled and said 'Yes, yes, that is right!'

His brother went on to say that he found a flyer with some meetings that talk about the weird beasts, and Revelation. That was exactly what Shawn told him before. Shawn asked him where the location was and what is the date, then he called his girlfriend to tell her of his plans. Jean did not want go with Shawn and his brother the first night because of what they had seen before. They had gone to one of the fellowship dinners, and saw an Adventist couple pour something out of a tin can which they thought looked like dog food. Some months later they found out it was not dog food.

Anyway, Jean thought it was so gross she refused to go with Shawn and his brother. Shawn told his brother why don't we go and find out how the pastor will answer the hard Biblical questions we will ask him. So off they went that first night.

They asked George Vandeman the hard questions. He opened the Bible, and showed them the answers. They were so surprised at the clear answers the Pastor gave them. They went home and told Jean. Jean went the next night with them. For a whole month they faithfully attended all the nightly meetings. They finally understand the whole picture of the prophecies of Daniel and Revelation clearly.

For the past month of February, 2008, Shawn has shared with us these same topics that he learned those 15 years ago.

Getting back to our meeting Shawn again asked the question he had at the beginning of the meeting, 'Who do you think is stressed the most, the bride or the groom?' My answer is the Groom because of my experience when I felt so stressful for fear of receiving rejection from Jean's father. I was fearful of him because I wanted to marry his daughter, the one I loved.

That is the same way how Jesus felt, very nervous, Why? Because He really wants to invite all of us to His home in Heaven to a 'wedding' dinner with Him. He does not want to hear us saying 'No thanks, I do not wish to accept Your invitation to Your wedding dinner'. He might be very anxiously, pacing back and forth looking down to our earth from his Heavenly home, longing for us to accept the invitation to come to His wedding dinner. Jesus called people (his church) on the earth 'His bride' and He, a groom. Jesus wanted to give us understanding of His emotion, because He first loved us before we loved Him. He know us before we were born.'

That is the end of Shawn's long testimony on the 'Who is stressed the most, the Groom or the Bride?'

I really will never forget what Shawn shared with us the last night of his meetings. Special thanks to Rosalinda Davis who interpreted this most interested testimony of all for me. I sat wide awake all through the fast-talking testimony of Shawn Boonstra. I believe the Holy Spirit helped me to recall his testimony so I could share it with you too.

Edited by AMB

Pastor Shawn Boonstra, a native of British Columbia, is speaker/director for It Is Written International Television. He appears weekly on the It Is Written television program (and podcast) and regularly conducts major evangelistic meetings around the world. Boonstra made the decision to commit his life to gospel ministry after attending an It Is Written evangelistic series in the city of Victoria 14 years ago. Soon after, he graduated with a degree in political science from the University of Victoria, and later attended Andrews University, where he gained theological training.

Before moving to the It Is Written international headquarters in 2004, Boonstra served as associate speaker for the It Is Written telecast in Canada from 1998-2001, then as speaker from 2001-2004. In 2001, he and Pastor Henry Feyerabend held a special "NET" satellite evangelistic series in downtown Halifax called Revelation Speaks Peace. This event received international attention, and increased the visibility of the telecast in Canada.

Boonstra's recent satellite events have included The Presence and The Appearing, two 5-night series focusing on the Sanctuary and the Second Coming, respectively. In addition, he conducted a month-long satellite event from Phoenix called Unlocking the Signs in early 2006. More than 1,000 churches hosted this event. Boonstra's next satellite series, called Out of Thin Air, will take place Sept. 28 - Oct. 1, 2007. This series will take a fresh look at the creation/evolution debate and will only be available at a church near you. In the last few years, Boonstra has held more than 30 major evangelistic series and has written more than 12 books. Recent efforts have taken him everywhere from the Kalahari Desert to the Arctic to the major cities of North and South America. His clear grasp of Scripture and his warm, dynamic presentation style have been an inspiration to many. On September 1, join Boonstra each weekday for a 3-4 minute online devotional called A Better Way to Live.

He, his wife Jean, and their two daughters live in Southern California.